|
SYMPTOM |
SIN |
SOLUTION |
| Feet cold and wet. |
Glass being held at
incorrect angle. |
Rotate glass so that
open
end points to ceiling. |
| Feet warm and wet. |
Improper bladder
control. |
Stand next to
nearest dog. Complain about
house training. |
Beer unusually pale
and tasteless. |
Glass empty. |
Get someone to buy
you another beer. |
| Opposite wall
covered with fluorescent lights. |
You have fallen
over
backward. |
Have yourself lashed
to the bar. |
Mouth contains
cigarette butts. |
You have fallen
forward. |
See above. |
Beer tasteless.
Front of shirt is wet. |
Mouth not open or
glass applied to wrong part of face. |
Retire to restroom.
Practice in front of mirror. |
| Floor blurred. |
You are looking
through bottom of empty glass. |
Get someone to buy
you another beer. |
| Floor moving. |
You are being
carried out. |
Find out if you are
being
taken to another bar. |
| Room seems unusually
dark. |
Bar has closed. |
Confirm home address
with bartender. |
Everyone looks up
to
you and smiles. |
You are dancing on
the table. |
Fall on someone
cushy-looking. |
| Beer is
crystal-clear. |
It's water. Your
friends are trying to sober you up. |
Find a new set of
friends. |
Hands hurt, nose
hurts,
mind unusually clear. |
You have been in a
fight. |
Not knowing who you
fought with, apologize to everyone. |
| Don't recognize
anyone. Don't recognize the room. |
You've wandered into
the wrong party. |
See if they have
free beer. |
Your singing
sounds
distorted. |
The beer is too
weak. |
Drink more until
your
voice improves. |
